I have grown older

Free Floating Honesty
#1

I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve grown older since the old website. I can tell because I get more senior discounts and fewer speeding tickets. Just since the beginning of 2020, I’ve gained 20 pounds and 20 years.

Aging has its perks, I suppose, with not dying yet and all. I’m also growing closer to Donna as I realize more and more how she’s been an absolute angel to me. That’s something only maturity can recognize fully.

Getting older kinda sucks sometimes too, though. Failing health. Friends and family dying. Writing only phrases. I’ve faced a lot of challenges over the past 10-15 years, but I’ll leave you with this: I think my days of being a supermodel may be over.

So, has anyone else aged?

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#2

I have. I have gained a lot more weight too, but it’s not even a bad thing. I used to be extremely skinny and now I have a body I can show the world, out of shape as it is. The body, not the world.

As an autistic person in constant need of learning the simplest things, I have learned a lot more empathy since the old Murmurs’ days, even if I had plenty back then. But I’ve learned lots of more self-esteem too, because I wouldn’t post as I felt unwelcome and undeserving then. It was THAT community, and I was “this” here, just lonely old me.

In the last few years, I’ve learned more politics, arts, English, medicine, music theory and many other things. You need time for that. It doesn’t come to us any other way. So getting older has that brilliant side: not necessarily wiser, but more in the know at least. We also try to understand better what to do with all of that – at least I do, dunno about others.

And aging a bit has taught me to be a husband and a dad, two things the 20-year-old me never thought he would experience. The tenacity and kindness of my woman, who is crazy enough to choose this path of staying by my side. How incredibly valuable she is in my life, in my way to see the world now. That only comes with time enough to get used to someone and cherish her enormously like I do. I don’t think you can love immediately; but you can learn how to never want to be apart. Aging has brought me this deep understanding of love. And it’s only with the passing of time that one random day I found out I was now a dad. I’m ecstatic for having him, and it could be even if just for that, but it’s for so much more. The knowledge of every day trying to raise this guy, trying to understand him and his new view of the world.

I’ve aged, but I’m still aging and hungry for what’s to come.

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#3

I have recently come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be a professional footballer…

The thing about aging is that you realise that your parents were always right. They were right about the clothes, and the hair. You did look ridiculous. The hobbies that they had, that you had no interest in while they were alive, eventually become your hobbies. The rebellion of youth gives way to growth and love, and a little regret.

We all go back to where we belong.

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#4

I’ve liked getting older, mainly because I feel more like me. And maybe that’s because sometime in my 40s I realized I really truly had zero fucks to give about so many things. I’m calmer. More…centered? More comfortable.

I mean, I make more noises (voluntary and involuntary) when I sit down and get up. But I feel better physically than I’ve ever felt.

People still think I’m at least 10yrs younger than I am, and it’s something that still irritates me. I’ve always looked young for my age, and I’ve always been treated young. I earned theses years and the knowledge that comes with it, dammit.

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#5

Never felt it til this year.

I have always bounced back. I mean I got hit by a car, while walking. I “browned” out, meaning that I went to sleep in one hospital…and wole up in another about a hundred miles away. This guy came up to me, like he knew me. I was a little freaked out. Apparently, I’d been asleep in my mind, but talking, walking, etc. to everyone else. Bouced back. A few years ago I went into an episode, due to a reaction to a medicine. I kept drinking water and reducing my potasium levels. In my mind, I tasted salt, so I thought I had too much…in reality…I was reducing it and ended up puking water. Mom went home to get clothes for me and said therevwas standing water in the kitchen. My parents, to this day, won’t tell me how bad it was. I think I remember something about an EKG. I went to the hospital for 3 days, on a saline drip. Bounced back.

This year…
Our dog was old, 12 years to be exact. He was a beautiful German shepherd. He was going blind, deaf, and his hips were displaced (common with older larger dogs) it was the 5th of July and people in my parents neighborhood are relentless with fireworks. Mom asked me to move him to the side yard. I reached down to take him…and I guess I startled him. He snapped. He was going for my throat. I managed to get my hand to my face in time. He dragged me and threw me about. I’m glad it was me and not my 3 year old niece, who had just shown up. I got an antibiotic at the hospital. Waited a couple days til I went back, because it was hot to the touch. They took out the stitches and gave me another antibiotic. It did attack my infection…but also made a beeline for my kidneys. At one point, I was down to 30% use. I didnt bounce back this time. I slowly recovered. I gave up energy drinks and went on a mostly high fiber diet. I wasn’t well for a month and slowly recovered. The space under my eyes is much darker. I just don’t feel the same.

I’m not so much in pain, but my outlook has changed slightly…

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#6

Of course I’ve aged, already mentioned the wrinkles in the selfie thread. I have grey hairs too. Several years ago I had really bad bouts of arthritis and sciatica. I was recommended mobility & strength exercise therapy, it’s really helped, I feel a lot better for it. Mentally, I’m more stable than I was 10 years or so ago. I’m surrounded by good friends and I dumped the c-nts, sounds bad I know but I feel no guilt calling them c-nts because that’s exactly what they were, and in a way, it was my fault for letting them gain control of my emotions. My husband always said to me, - why do you let those people control you? ,… and he was right. I have learnt to stand my ground or walk away when I need to a bit more as I’ve gotten older.

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#7

I’ve aged, normal at first. Was pissed as I ballooned to 200pounds but I loved my music and my miniature making. Then rather rapidly my life was just gone. I have brain damage from trying to get off an anti depressant, all by myself I have to take care of my 99y.o. invalid incontinent mom, went from 200pounds down to 95 pounds, am on of all sorts of pills (which I am so against) just to function. I am very scared.

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#8

I am 50 years old now. Although I in better physical shape now than I was during the Murmurs heyday as far as weight and fitness are concerned, I have earned some age battle scars during the past few years.

I went to the emergency room in 2018 with what I assumed was kidney stones, only to find that I had a ruptured appendix and a deathly infection that required a week-long stay in the hospital.

In 2019, I had 12 inches of my colon removed because of a five-centimeter precancerous mass that was found in my cecum. Thankfully, I emerged cancer-free from the ordeal.

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#9

I can’t read fine print anymore without a magnifying glass. Sometimes I have trouble threading a needle. I can still get down on the floor and get up again without assistance, which is not a bad thing.

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#10

I broke down and got progressive lenses quite a while ago, but every time I go to the optometrist, there’s something else that’s come up! And although I can also get up and down of the floor, it takes more time than it used to - and it makes a lot more noise!

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#11

My wife and I always joke about that. We say we were already tasty and now we’ve gotten crunchy as well.

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#12

I have progressive lenses. I have an astigmatism. Getting up and down from the floor is a downright challenge. I am an old lady.

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#13

Yes I am old, grey and I can’t see properly too.

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#14

I started balding about five years ago and so started shaving my head. Last year I got my first pair of glasses. I have strange pains out of nowhere sometimes. Yep I’m definitely older!

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#15

Oh I’ve been there for a couple years now. Weird at first now I don’t even notice.

And HBD!!

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#16

Hey, you too!!

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#17

I’m 46 now. I’m running the Boston Marathon in less than 2 weeks. Not doing too bad I guess…

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#18

That’s a huge accomplishment!

My fastest marathon finish time was 3:59:15, back in 2016 when I was 44. That was not nearly fast enough for a Boston qualification, though.

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#19

Hey, inspectorjason, weren’t you the one who posted this photo of himself at the pizza place before the weight loss and next to it a photo running a marathon after shedding lots and lots of pounds? In some thread on the old board? My mind says, I remember it clearly, though I can never be sure. You also wrote something about lowering your resting heart frequency, saving more beats for later in life! :slightly_smiling_face:
Hats off to you man, this is quite some accomplishment.

I lost 22 kg (48.5 pounds) in 2012. Went from 97 kg (214 pounds) to 75 kg (165 pounds), have never looked back.

I turned 40 this year and even though I realize, I have grown older, too, I feel quite fine actually. I am doing my best to stay healthy. :slightly_smiling_face:

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#20

Congratulations on the weight loss, Frequency!

That was me who posted the photo of my 400-pound self eating pizza circa 2004 next to a photo of my 210-pound self finishing my first marathon in 2009.

I would love to say that I lived happily ever after since that big weight loss, but the truth is that I still struggle constantly against food addiction. While I’ve never come anywhere close to gaining back to 400 pounds, I have fluctuated erratically with my weight, even gaining back into the upper 200s at times.

I’m 235 now, and dropping pounds again after a rough patch during the pandemic. I’m getting my groove back now, and am even training for a trail marathon in the fall.

I would sell my soul to be one of those effortlessly thin people whose weight never veers outside of a five-pound range, but my own weight struggles are probably a minor life problem in the grand scheme of things. I’ve been a fortunate guy, and I always seem to get back up on my feet more times than I’ve been knocked down.

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