120 replies to this topic

[DrinkTheElixir]

analogdemon said:

Post telling Elixer and Fanny to take their squabbles to PM instead of hijacking an otherwise hilarious thread.

Closing remarks telling them to act their age and includes a smiley for good measure. :)

Excuse me?  I am not squabbling with anyone, in fact I called for this thread to get back on track several posts ago.  My posts were serving to illustrate that those phrases are well used and therefor there was no need to fight over it. Re-read my posts - you are reading something into them that is just not there.  What happened to 'assume goodwill'?

[analogdemon]

DrinkTheElixer said:

Excuse me?  I am not squabbling with anyone, in fact I called for this thread to get back on track several posts ago.  My posts were serving to illustrate that those phrases are well used and therefor there was no need to fight over it. Re-read my posts - you are reading something into them that is just not there.  What happened to 'assume goodwill'?

Post apologizing to Elixer. Goes off on a rant about Murmurs being too hard to read to take the heat off. :D

[DrinkTheElixir]

analogdemon said:

Post apologizing to Elixer. Goes off on a rant about Murmurs being too hard to read to take the heat off. :D

Post praising the benefits of swaddling to pacify   *swaddles analogdemon and rocks him gently* :p

[Sweet Fanny Addams]

*sends out search party for Assume Goodwill*

[inspectorjason]

1.  Random comment mentioning anything even remotely associated with cats.

...which sets off at least two thread pages of replies from cat lovers talking about how cute cats are and posting their cat photos.  

Example:
- "This morning, while I was watching Superfriends cartoons and eating cereal in my kitchen in my pajamas, my cat reached up on its hind legs and scratched my testicles.   I had to call the ambulance and go to the hospital to get skin grafted onto my testicles after the bleeding was stopped.   I was told by the doctor that I would be impotent for the rest of my life due to the tears from my cat reaching up and scratching my testicles."
- "I love cats."
- "Cats are sooooooo cute."
- "Here's a picture of my cat, Frumpy, playing with the pillows on my bed."
- "Awwwwww....that's sooooo cute."
- "Frumpy is adorable."
- "That cat looks goofy in that photo."
- "How dare you make fun of my cat!!!!   I'm leaving Murmurs."
- "I don't care what anybody says.   That cat is soooo cute."
- "Because of the cat scratch on my testicles, I'm having to take antibiotics and anti-inflammatory medication for the next eleven months."
- "I love cats.   Here's a photo of my cat hiding under the sofa."
- "Awwwww.   That's soooooo cute.   That poor cat under the sofa."
- "Cats are sooo cute."
- "I agree."

[inspectorjason]

2.  Random comment about sinners and degenerates who eat Kit-Kats improperly by breaking off individual Kit-Kat wafers instead of taking bites from the Kit-Kat bar without breaking off the individual wafer.

...which sets off at least two thread pages of replies from sinners and degenerates who try to defend their wayward habit of breaking off Kit-Kat wafers before eating.

Example:
- "People are using improper technique when breaking off individual Kit-Kat wafers."
- "What!  Kit-Kat bars are supposed to be eaten that way."
- "I agree."
- "I agree."
- (initial poster) "You are all diseased."
- "All of you are wrong.   Kit-Kats aren't divided into wafers; they are divided into biscuits."
- "No, you're wrong.   Not biscuits.   The correct term is tart."
- "You're a tart.   Shut up."
- "The correct term is "fingers".
- "If any of you had any semblance of a clue about how to eat Kit-Kats properly, we wouldn't be having this semantics debate."

[DrinkTheElixir]

inspectorjason said:

2.  Random comment about sinners and degenerates who eat Kit-Kats improperly by breaking off individual Kit-Kat wafers instead of taking bites from the Kit-Kat bar without breaking off the individual wafer.

...which sets off at least two thread pages of replies from sinners and degenerates who try to defend their wayward habit of breaking off Kit-Kat wafers before eating.

Example:
- "People are using improper technique when breaking off individual Kit-Kat wafers."
- "What!  Kit-Kat bars are supposed to be eaten that way."
- "I agree."
- "I agree."
- (initial poster) "You are all diseased."
- "All of you are wrong.   Kit-Kats aren't divided into wafers; they are divided into biscuits."
- "No, you're wrong.   Not biscuits.   The correct term is tart."
- "You're a tart.   Shut up."
- "The correct term is "fingers".
- "If any of you had any semblance of a clue about how to eat Kit-Kats properly, we wouldn't be having this semantics debate."

You are a kit-kat weilding beast of the field.

[inspectorjason]

DrinkTheElixer said:

You are a kit-kat weilding beast of the field.

I pulled the very first Kit-Kat out of the stone and, therefore, am the King Arthur of Kit-Kats.   I am well practiced in the art of eating Kit-Kats the correct way.

[DrinkTheElixir]

inspectorjason said:

I pulled the very first Kit-Kat out of the stone and, therefore, am the King Arthur of Kit-Kats.   I am well practiced in the art of eating Kit-Kats the correct way.

What about these for thread titles:

Post obscene and twisted ways of eating/making/naming foods purely to torment those with a finer palette.

Help needed urgently! How can Inspector Jason safely remove the kit-kat from his colon without the fingers snapping apart?

[inspectorjason]

Here's a good thread title:

Grace Is Addicted To Green Tea-Flavored Kit-Kats from Japan!

[DrinkTheElixir]

inspectorjason said:

Here's a good thread title:

Grace Is Addicted To Green Tea-Flavored Kit-Kats from Japan!

:eek:  That is wrong on so many levels.

[DrinkTheElixir]

'How many ways can we bastardise the humble kit-kat'?

How many kit-kats can you fit in your rectum?


Last night I dreamed that I had a giant kit-kat, snapped off one of the hefty fingers which was as big as an old oak tree, jammed it in the ground, tied Jason to it, pulled his pants down, stuck smaller kit-kat fingers in all of his orifaces and released the (very hungry) hounds.  What did everyone else dream of?

[Sweet Fanny Addams]

DrinkTheElixer said:

How many kit-kats can you fit in your rectum?

Let's refine the question since this is so controversial. Would that be how many kit kats, correctly snapped into fingers can you fit in your rectum, or how many whole kit kats can you lodge in your ringpiece, like a freakin peasant?
That distinction is very important and separates those with a bit of style from the grunting, sweaty lumpen kit kat abuser.

[AgainstAllOdds]

This thread has been funny till now...that bloody green kitkat is enough to make you vomit (or give you nightmares), and the thought of fingers up your rectum......

please go back to being funny

[DrinkTheElixir]

piglet said:

please go back to being funny

Ok, you go first!

[AgainstAllOdds]

post explaining its too early in the morning to be funny, hair is still stood on end, trying to write the supermarket shopping list and do four loads of washing at the same time :o

[NearWildHeather]

Laughter at every single one of you, which quickly becomes hysterical from stress, pain, and lack of sleep.

Asterisk-'bed'-asterisk.

[inspectorjason]

DrinkTheElixer said:

'How many ways can we bastardise the humble kit-kat'?

Oh, look up Kit-Kat in Wikipedia and see the photos of the different Kit-Kat flavors available in Japan:  Pineapple, Apple, Lime, etc.   I'm not sure how they pull this off, but the Japanese have always been creative with things.   The Green Tea-flavored one was where my stomach turned.

Quote

How many kit-kats can you fit in your rectum?

And all this time, you've been accusing me of eating Kit-Kats incorrectly?  

Haha.

[DrinkTheElixir]

inspectorjason said:

And all this time, you've been accusing me of eating Kit-Kats incorrectly?  

Haha.

You didn't answer the question - but I am sure that you are conducting underground tests as I type.