64 replies to this topic

[DrinkTheElixir]

Name - David Hasselhoff (BlueCordFFA)

Likes - Campbells meatballs, y-fronts, semolina pudding, sidling up to strangers on park benches, touring the countries urinals and sitiing by them with my packed lunch and kodac fun camera, shouting "boo" at frail old gentlemen at the local tea dances, 50/50 dancing, beetle drives, coach trips, waxing my arse crack, white chocolate and drawing mermaids with crayons.

Dislikes - Custard, wearing my special helmet, going over 2 miles an hour in any vehicle because I wet myself easily, the way my mother pre chews all of my food for me, sunshine and laughter, the way that only black sock fluff gets up my quaver like toenails and that green tanktop that I have that is just a little too tight.

About me - Hello, my full name is David Hasselhoff.  In my spare time I like to rub a pumice stone on both of my nipples whilst listening to Suzie Quatro.  Suzie Quatro is my life, I like her music, her looks and her strange mullet like hair.  On Thursday evenings I hold my Suzie Quatro convention of which I am president.  There is always plenty of fizzy pop and pork scratchings left every evening because nobody ever turns up (thats unless you count my overweight cat Nesbit)

My favourite chat up line is "Do you like cheese?"  My favourite cheese is Kraft Cheddery and my favourite biscuits are custard creams.  Can I be your special friend?

[siglosecreto]

name InspectorJason

Likes bauhaus style furnishings with bauhaus style sounds, wearing pants for kevin, robert smiths hairbrush, flavors, liquids, george w bush, stephen kings fleece kit swamp thing, tv napkins, flaming plackets.

Dislikes Pomades, meat pie, rotund pilby diddles, electric testicle applications, stapled lobes, lumber jack rockers on jolt cola, sandpaper pants.

About me: Hello, nice to meet you.

[Sweet Fanny Addams]

NAME: Ethan Kaplan
also: Irving Kiplin, Eeyore Crablegs, Eva Kreplach, Enoch Krampon, Eli Corndog, ET(phone home)

AGE: 10 and a half


Likes: big obscure words, famous people, riding his  bike down the big dip in the park, burning people's eyebrows off with lighters in bars, changing his website overnight to fuck with everyones head, Courtney Love, Noxzema zit cream, Ronald Mac Donald, the internet, his  big black rack

Dislikes: ordinary proles, studying Hebrew for his bar mitzva, having to go to bed at 9 pm "on the dot mister, or no tv tomorrow", people who blow spitballs at his BMX mountain bike "Butch", avocado and alfalfa sprout falafels, having to finish his vegetables or no dessert, relatives who tell him he's too young to shave and call him "bumfluff".

About me Hello, my name is Ethan. This is my website. Have fun, and it's not true I'm writing my dissertation about all you test subjects, er, people for my PhD. I just want everyone to have a good time and get along. I'm getting married next year. It's a joint ceremony with my Bar Mitzva. Right now I'm doing my guest list, which includes my good friend Millsy (I'm hoping he'll be best man) my other best bud Peter Buck, Michael Stipe, Bono and the rest of his band,U-Boat, Ronald Mac Donald, Jay Leno, and former President Clinton. I wanna invite Courtney, but my mom won't let me  because she says Courtney will  just piss on the expensive carpet and then fall over from drugs. I want to implant everyone on we talk with microchips containing their murmurs username and all other pertinent info, and I want to stand on a pedestal and have everyone throw flower petals at my feet while screaming "ETHAN IS OUR GOD"

[DrinkTheElixir]

Name - Helen

Likes - Chicken Livers on toast, Lime cordial, Back Gammon, trying on other peoples false teeth, biting my own toenails, dancing naked in my room to Billy Ray Cyrus.

Dislikes - The general public, anything beyond Hadrains wall, getting pushed back over Hadrians wall when I try to make it over to the other side, Hadrain, walls, hunting the wild haggis, the wind blowing up my kilt, spinach.

About me - Hello, my name is Helen.  My hobbies are air guitar, head banging, bin rummaging and preaching my love of cult life on the streets of a town near you.  I enjoy pushing leaflets into peoples faces, that fine rain that you get that makes you unsure whether you are getting wet or not and coughing in peoples faces at work.  

I like to sing on the streets with my cupped hands outstretched for "spare change", stealing mixing bowls, taking 'cuttings' from strangers hair as I sit behind them on the bus and putting mustard on the bum holes of strange dogs.

Can I make you a cup of tea please?

[Zither]

Name: Werner

Likes: Waxing the chests of Filipino waiters, burning ants under magnifying glasses, sitting on benches in town with a bottle of cider, playing knock-and-run on pensioners houses, stealing milk off people's doorsteps, sitting on my thumb in the bath, using Fairy Liquid instead of proper lube, chasing pigeons through the town centre, fat women over the age of 50 and S Club 7.

Dislikes: Pubic hair, toothpaste, sprouts, toilet paper, car seats, anything rubber, the sun, Aboriginies, eating food off plates, people who wear glasses, bin bags, using the shower or the bath, shampoo and zipping up my fly in public.

About Me: Hello my name is Werner. My hobbies are capturing and torturing insects, decapitating other people's flowers, collecting nose hair, tramspotting and collecting free samples of wallpaper. I also like to hang around school playgrounds, the YMCA and I'm a scout leader.

My favourite artist is Julio Iglesias and I often sing his songs through a megaphone on a bench in my town centre. It gives me a real buzz when the police move me along. I also like hiding in hedges and jumping out on unexpecting women.

That's all folks.

[MeanCat]

etty=evil:D

[vetiver]

Quote

Originally posted by DrinkTheElixer
Name - Helen

Likes - Chicken Livers on toast, Lime cordial, Back Gammon, trying on other peoples false teeth, biting my own toenails, dancing naked in my room to Billy Ray Cyrus.

Dislikes - The general public, anything beyond Hadrains wall, getting pushed back over Hadrians wall when I try to make it over to the other side, Hadrain, walls, hunting the wild haggis, the wind blowing up my kilt, spinach.

About me - Hello, my name is Helen.  My hobbies are air guitar, head banging, bin rummaging and preaching my love of cult life on the streets of a town near you.  I enjoy pushing leaflets into peoples faces, that fine rain that you get that makes you unsure whether you are getting wet or not and coughing in peoples faces at work.  

I like to sing on the streets with my cupped hands outstretched for "spare change", stealing mixing bowls, taking 'cuttings' from strangers hair as I sit behind them on the bus and putting mustard on the bum holes of strange dogs.

Can I make you a cup of tea please?

Unfortunately I had to give up the Hadrian wall climbing due to an unfortunate accident with a particularly prickly piece of gorse that found its way up my kilt as I leaped from the top of the wall to the other side.

It took the doctors several hours to get out all the prickles.

Yup, my leaping days are well and truly over.

[DrinkTheElixir]

Quote

Originally posted by vetiver
Unfortunately I had to give up the Hadrian wall climbing due to an unfortunate accident with a particularly prickly piece of gorse that found its way up my kilt as I leaped from the top of the wall to the other side.

It took the doctors several hours to get out all the prickles.

Yup, my leaping days are well and truly over.

You were there last night wearing a balaklava made out of pubic hair.  And I know it was you on Crimestoppers...stealing the bricks from Hadrains wall for your rockery.

[vetiver]

Quote

Originally posted by DrinkTheElixer
You were there last night wearing a balaklava made out of pubic hair.  And I know it was you on Crimestoppers...stealing the bricks from Hadrains wall for your rockery.

*gulp*

[Sweet Fanny Addams]

Quote

Originally posted by MeanCat
etty=evil:D

*sniff*
and I thought we were friends, Moni.
*BOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO, WHAAAAAAAAAAA, BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW*
:(  :(  :(   :(  :(   :(  :(  :(   :(  :(  :(  :(  :(  :(  :(  :(
etty *sniff*

[brentwoode]

Name - Jenny aka Jenny5309

Likes - playing bass, wine-in-a-box, AA baseball teams, kevin spacey's used q-tips, scrabble dictionaries, business cards, mike mills' fake teeth, playing bass, correcting my friends who pronounce my homestate as "mis-ery"

Dislikes - clean floors, trash can liners, kevin spacey's unused q-tips, electric cars, strongbad, bjorn bjorg

About Me - Hi! My name is Jenny! I'm a big fan of soap operas, especially "Days of Our Lives" - when I graduate from uni, I plan to become a script writer for the show. I have some kick-ass plot line ideas for Sammi and Austin. They should really get back together. I also love "Oprah" - I have logged all 5,000 of her shows and carry around an inspirational "Oprah Quote Book" with me wherever I go. You wanna see it? I can recite about 3/4 of it off the top of my head.

BTW...if you send me any pastries, make sure you make me a pickle tart. It's soooooo yummy.

[MeanCat]

Quote

Originally posted by Sweet Fanny Addams
*sniff*
and I thought we were friends, Moni.
*BOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO, WHAAAAAAAAAAA, BAWWWWWWWWWWWWW*
:(  :(  :(   :(  :(   :(  :(  :(   :(  :(  :(  :(  :(  :(  :(  :(
etty *sniff*

but etty... evil is GOOD!! :)

[jenny5309]

Quote

Originally posted by brentwoode
Name - Jenny aka Jenny5309

Likes - kevin spacey's used q-tips, mike mills' fake teeth

that was supposed to be private. and i do keep a supply of polident on hand in case he comes knocking. as for spacey, i rummaged through the bathroom at the trigger street offices yesterday and only found his used kleenexes.

[gary h]

Name - Astrid AKA OneArpeggioPete

Likes - copius amounts of facial hair on a man, alex 'the hurricane' higgans and budweiser.

Dislikes - peter bucks crap guitar riffs

[lemon]

Name:  Paul (Zither)

Likes:  Marshmallows, the feeling of my hair when it first get's zithered, the way my feet itch after playing rugby, rugby team showers after losing a game (we all 'comfort' eachother), pencils with no eraser, how I have more hair on the rest of my body than on my head, women with under obviously going up their butt and/or a flashy cameltoe.

Dislikes:  anybody who screws with cheese, bondage, dingleberries, partially chewed blueberry gum (the rest of the flavors are okay, actually, I collect samples of them), chickens that speak gaelic, fondue, and most of all---Bungee Hopscotch

About me:  Hi, I'm Paul. On the Murmurs boards I'm known as Zither. I always am looking for a girlfriend, even though I'm married to an 87 year old Flamenco dancer, ChiChi. I like to wear her costumes and do a little striptease. There is no furniture in my house because I sold it all to get enough money for REM tickets. Sadly enough, I didn't manage to get the REM tickets as I got distracted by something shiny and phallic on my way to get them.

[DrinkTheElixir]

Name - Corpus

Likes - Douching with root beer, licking the condensation from windowsills, ripping hermit crabs out of their shells with my eyebrow tweezers, Marmite art, jamming pencils up my butt, frisbeeing with cow pats, milking my pet rat Martin, rolling my turds into little balls and firing them at the dartboard that I made out of skin flakes and earwax.

Dislikes - Running water, wiping my butt effectively, chutney, oak trees, the way my farts smell like cheese, sponging my rotten knickers out every Thursday night, the dribble stains down my clothes that won't come out in the first wash.

About me - Hello my name is Corpus and I love music.  I play the triangle in my spare time, mostly to my cat Nermal and my collection of soft toys.  My favourites are Tiffanny, Debbie Gibson, New Kids on The Block, the theme to Champion the wonder Horse and banjo music. I love to eat chitlins, sweetbreads, pigs knackers and paste.  I feel truly at one with my body when I am dancing naked to  Wonder Horse, Black Beauty or Lassie.

I enjoy spying at people through holes in my week old newspaper, running up to strangers and licking their left cheek real quick and eating my own bodily secretions.

I sit patiently waiting for your letters to come pouring through my letter box.  Can I make you one of my special cakes please?:)

[BlueCordFFA]

Name:  Paul O'Zither

Likes: Walks in the rain, pina coladas, Manchester United, collecting fancy hair grips, sticking bubblegum in old ladies hair on the bus, pretending to be from Manchester, Tony Blair's hair style, rugger, nylon clothes, 'butties', picking fights with Japanese tourists, all things Mancunian.

Dislikes: the voices, beer, Liverpool FC, wood, pidgeons, scouse accents, surgical gloves, the inhabitants of Port Moresby, Lille, and Copenhagen, not being able to tie my shoe laces, sand eels, the interior trim of Renault Meganes, the word 'butane', having my knife collection confiscated.

About me: My underpants are binding, what should I do?

[DrinkTheElixir]

Ahhhhh BUMP!

[Wingnut]

Name: Hezalin

Likes: Men with knotted backhair, reenacting scenes from Star Wars with sex toys, being spanked with celery stalks, drinking Boone's Farm with local homeless on the corner, and throwing rotten fruit at cars from the overpass.

Dislikes: toenail clippings getting in my hair, the way wool g-strings itch, pimento loaf, the lying bitches working at Bath & Body Works, customers who whine about losing a piece of their ear when I cut their hair.

About Me: Talk to me about exciting opportunities in raising gerbils for their fur.

[DrinkTheElixir]

Name: Wingnut, known off the boards as Stephanie or Steve

Likes: Making underpants from raw pastry, putting buttons up my butt and firing them out into my Sesame Street coffee mug, visiting the local rest home and hiding their heart meds, plugging my belly button with tater totz, joining my moles and freckles up with a green sharpie, eating soap, trying to get my safety helmet off and urinating out of my bedroom window.

Dislikes:  those straight pubic hairs (I curl those suckers around my spare tater totz to get them just right - they won't beat me!), washing with soap, cods livers, those itchy crabs - little fuckers, the way my arse hair weaves over my bunghole, treacle.

About me:  I like hiding in the bushes outside your house :)