20497 replies to this topic

[Euphemia]

The Blahniks ...

"Mike, I have some good news and some bad news.  The bad news is that I'm going to Albuquerque to see my daughter, and won't be able to hang out here for awhile."

:mike:  (eagerly) "What's the good news?"

"The rest of the gang will be here to entertain you, and I've leaving you some Blahnik lists to read if you get lonely for me."

:mike: "What's going to happen if I don't read them?"

"I'll be sad."

:mike: "So?"

"I like to sing to cheer myself up, even if it isn't kareoke night.  Do you think you can read them for me?"

:mike: "Of course."

"Did you know that Albuquerque is located near a dormant volcano?   We got to see the little pictures drawn on the volcano walls.  What I want to know is how those pictures survived the last eruption of the volcano."

:mike: "Hm.  Maybe they were drawn after the volcano erupted."

"That's too simple an answer."

[stipeeyes]

Hello all you Millsers.  Thought I'd drop in and say hello.  

Well in three days Mike will be wearing his nudie suits again.  

Looking forward to that.

[Euphemia]

btw even though Mike will be on tour, the Mills bar will still be open, and Mike will pop in from time to time.  The Blahniks are also looking forward to Mike wearing his nudie suits.  They love 'em.

[millsfreak]

* I wouldn't mind seeing Mike in a Nudie Suit either*

[Euphemia]

Mike is chatting with adoring groupies.
All of a sudden...

:mike:"Who goosed me?"

(A lot of laughing.  Mike goes back to his admirerers.)

:mike:"Who goosed me?"

(More laughing, but no one owns up.)

:mike:"Ow! That one really hurt.  Which one of you Blahniks did it?"

(More laughter, especially from Joe.)

Mike's girlfriend: "You quit making the moves on my boyfriend."

"Making the moves on him?  Yuck.  Gross.  I was only trying to bug him."

:mike:"Well, you've succeeded.   Why can't you be nice like your sister?"

"I'm my own person.  You should have seen the look on your face when I got you.  You looked like you wanted to tear Joe limb from limb, and all he did was laugh loud."

:mike:"Where'd you get such a hard grip?"

"I milk goats."

:mike:"If I wasn't so busy, I would kick you all out again."

"And we'd all come back again."

:mike:  "I'll get the Preparation H ready."

[Euphemia]

The Blahniks are mourning being kicked out of the recipe forum in the Bill Berry section to even give a crap if Mills is in the bar.  Maybe they'll be back to their annoying selves tomorrow.

:mike: "I hope not."

[Euphemia]

All hail to Snorlax!!!  The Blahniks will take Mills's rejected nudie suits now.

[incka]

Mikes hairs grown long again! YAY! (Saw it on glasenbury last night)

[NearWildHeather]

Quote

Originally posted by beccakay
...an orange crush is a great drink especially with tequila!!!!

Ew, gross, Becca! :p! Blech!

Bacardi Vanila and Dr. Pepper, please.

I'll sing, but only if Mike sings with me.

'Suspicion', preferably, or 'Be Mine'.

[incka]

Some1 post some mike storys here, there usually very interesting.

[incka]

:mike: hasn;t had a story in the bar for a while, plaese post

by the way :bill: didnt cook the stuff on rehersal, he bought it from a take-a-way, :mike: said in a dutch interview!

[Euphemia]

Do you mean real or fictional?  See, I have never met the guy.  The closest I ever came was when I got an opportunity to see R.E.M. in 1999.  My friend had fan club tickets and said I could go with her.  In fact, the tickets were on the bass player's side.  I turned her down cold because I hate crowds.  She took her mother instead.  They had a good time.  

I still will write every now and then about his fictional encounters with the Blahniks whenever I'm in the mood.

[Euphemia]

"I'm back from Albuquerque!"

:mike: "Oh, joy."

"Did you read my Blahnik lists while I was gone?"

:mike: "Oh, that's what they were.  Well, you see, I had to use the port-a-potty at Glastonbury, and there was no toilet paper.
I used what was handy."

"Why didn't you use the Sears catalog?"

:mike: "They stopped making those nearly ten years ago."

"Really?  Don't you want to hear about my trip?"

:mike: "OK.  I'll take my medicine."

"We visited the flea market.  I've never seen so many socks and hats for sale.  And on every corner they had squawk box accessories.  Thing were going fine until my adult daughter decided to sing, Ay yi yi yi, I am the Frito ..."

:mike: "That's enough."

"You're telling me.  I thought for sure I'd be down one less offspring.  Luckily, no one heard her or maybe they'd been tought not to hit a woman in public.  I can't believe one of my own kids could be so clueless."

:mike: under his breath)"I can."

"What's that?"

:mike: "I said 'I can't.'"

"I'm glad you agree."

[Remming]

Yay!
poor guy. he needs a nap.

[incka]

Sorry too seem to dumb, but who are the Blahniks anyway?

I love the storys, but I wish we could have more than u posting them, urs are great, but the more the better, perhaps u can make some like the Mike Mills Wakes Up thing.

Thnx 4 te storys, can wait for the next karaoke night...

[NearWildHeather]

In less than 3 mos., I'm gonna sit 4 rows away from Mike Mills, and that's not even a made-up story!

:D :D :cool:

:* :mike: (on the cheek, you perverted Blahniks!)

:p

[Euphemia]

I'm sorry, but if people want to read about Mike Mills waking up they'll have to go to that excellent thread written by etty.  Either that or someone else can start writing their own type of story.  I'm all for it.  However, I can't make other people write stories if they don't want to.
btw a Blahnik is an annoying, clueless person with bad fashion sense that snores and can't sing or dance.  They aren't the worst people in the world, but Mike's stuck with them.

[Euphemia]

Eeeeek!

:mike: "What's wrong?"

Patron: "There's a dead mouse on the bar."

:mike: "What?  OK, Blahniks, what's going on?"

"Oh, it's a little gift from our mascot, Splat."

:mike: "You mean your mascot, Splat."

"Speaking of Splat, here she comes now."

Splat: "Ear, ear."

"Splat, this is Mike.  Mike, this is Splat."

:mike: "That's it.  I'm throwing that thing out."

"But Mike--"

:mike: "Forget it."

"But Mike--"

:mike: "You can beg and plead all you want."

"But Mike--"

:mike:"La la la.  I can't hear you."

(Throws Splat out.)

:mike: "Now what did you want?"

"I was going to tell you to watch out for that pile of poop she let on the floor, but you already found it."

:mike: "Eeww."

[incka]

:mike:  and his blahniks haven't had a story for a few days. Come on eurphorem (sorry, i know i spelt it wrong) post some more. I love reading them.

[Euphemia]

The Blahniks...

"Darn, did you have to throw Splat out?"

:mike: "No, but I wanted to."

"Well, then I guess I'll have to tell you more about my trip to Albuquerque."

:mike: "Anything's better than Splat."

"OK.  We were looking at Indian ruins when nature called.  We ended up driving to the middle of nowhere.  I was expecting to see at least a port-a-potty, but there was nothing.  I was about to go into panic mode when they showed me one through the path in the woods.  That was a close one."

:mike: "How exciting."

"How about this one.  My husband, the hunk of man, was on a state preserve and was debating whether to take a piece of cactus back with him.  While he was debating, he asked my grandson what they would do if the park ranger saw them.  Borp said 'I'll put it in my pocket.'  It seems my grandchildren are clueless, too."

:mike:"Surprise, surprise."

Splat:"Ear, ear."

:mike: "Who let that thing in?"

"She came in through the cat door."

:mike: "That's not a cat door.  That's for my dog."

"She doesn't know the difference."

Patron:  "Eeek!  There's a lizard tail on the bar.
And there's a tailess lizard running on the floor."

:mike: "I'll throw the lizard out."

(Throws lizard out.)

:mike: "And now to get rid of this Splat thing.  Here, kitty, kitty.  Yoww!!! "

"Oh, isn't that sweet.  She thinks you're a snack friend."

:mike: "Only a stupid cat would mistake me for a piece of food."

Splat: "Ear, ear."