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Does R.E.M. Embarrass You?


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#1 twistedkite

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 05:42 AM

Dear Murmurs community,

It's no secret (or it shouldn't be!) that Clive and I send endless emails back and forth talking about REM issues. Recently Clive sent me a topic that was so interesting, I thougth I'd share his discussion and my reply with the board so you could all chime in if you wish. He writes...


I was driving to work thinking about people's reaction when they hear R.E.M. mentioned and thought I'd share it...

Basically, at work, we have a music system that is essentially like a jukebox, recently the studio manager has been going round asking what albums people would like played and it goes on to a playlist so, through the course of the day, your album will be played amongst everyone else's choices. This week I've been refraining from choosing R.E.M. because everyone knows I'm obsessed and I didn't want to appear predictable. Today, as it's Friday, I thought I'd treat myself and I nominated 'Accelerate' for my choice. But it got me thinking about how I interpret other peoples reactions to R.E.M. When I was thinking of which album it occurred to me that I'd be almost embarrassed to have 'Around The Sun' or maybe 'Up' played. What does that say about R.E.M.s music? I read on a blog somewhere not long ago someone describing R.E.M. as having become "a guilty pleasure" and that sums it up perfectly. The other week on night shift I added 'Ascent Of Man' to the playlist because I really love that song but when it came on I thought "God this is slow and tedious". It's amazing how my perception of the songs change when in the presence of others.
Every time I put an R.E.M. song on at work I'm greeted by a collective moan and I'm not sure that's because they see me as predictable in my choice or whether they dislike the music. If I had to hazard a guess at people's general opinion of R.E.M. I would say they think of them as a band for grown-ups, writing depressing music and as the band with the singer with the whiney voice.

This was my reply:

Let me start off by discussing the "guilty pleasure" comment. To me a guilty pleasure is "bad" for you, but you do it anyway. When I think guilty pleasure related to pop culture, I think of art with no substance: popcorn flicks like Transformers and music by soulless pop artists like Ke$ha or Katy Perry. Calling REM a guilty pleasure is a huge insult to all of us! That journalist should be shot! (or at least maimed!)

But there always has been something perpetually "uncool" about REM (sadly). Let's face it: REM were their coolest in the 80s---true alternative outsiders that the mainstream couldn't understand. Eccecentric in manner and dress: comparable to the Shins or Death Cab or even The Black Keys (even though I'm not a huge fan of most of these bands!)  And yet, their music has always been so subtle. REM have never had the cool/dangerous factor that some alt rock bands always have, no matter the size of their audience. You play a Smashing Pumpkins, NIN, Pearl Jam or Nirvana song for someone who has never heard of these bands, and it's hard to deny the music's power and appeal: I would never feel embarrassed to play "Even Flow" or "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" for someone . On the other hand, I have a distinct memory of playing "Driver 8" to some of my friends in high school and having one of them tell me (unimpressed) "this sounds like country." I mean, when I think of early kickass REM rock songs, the only ones that come to mind are "The One I Love" and "Orange Crush"--and these aren't really why I love REM.

Sadly, when REM finally did become world famous, it wasn't with an album like Nevermind: it was Out of Time. So now everyone at my high school knew who REM were, but all the time I heard taunts of "stand in the place where you live!" or "that's me in the corner!" of "shiny happy people laughing!" In short, REM still had no cool credibility with anyone around me. No one knew their 80s material, and their 90s material was beautiful, but not "cool" per se. To this day I have no idea how U2 have remained so popular--they've done just as many phases as REM. The only answer I can think of is that deep down U2 have always been a "rock" band--a cool band; while REM were a mystical jangly art rock band, who then turned rather mainstream and adult contemporary, who then turned VERY adult contemporary.

I remember reading a while back in some magazine where a journalist compared "I've Been High" on Reveal to a Phil Collins song--this was a major insult...and kind of true! So I know what you mean. REM fans love the band and Stipe's voice so much that we have no objectivity, but I can completely understand how the average person could hear a song like "Beat a Drum" or "Walk It Back" and think--"Good God, this is tedious!"

My proudest REM moment was when they swept the MTV video music awards--that was just so cool. And then they won the 1995 Video Vanguard award on MTV--that moment and speech was cool too. And of course when they signed the 80 million dollar contract, that was kind of a statement to the non-believers that REM were a "big deal." But it always comes back to the music, and for the last 5 albums, REM have remained (for the most part) very middle of the road. There have been very few times (or none, come to think of it) where I've been able to play REM for non-REM fans and have them say "Holy shit--this band is amazing!" They've never been that kind of band it seems. Their collection of singles and greatest hits is so different than U2's. Sometimes they write a song that really reminds me of older REM: Chorus and the Ring, Worst Joke Ever, most of Accelerate, but too often the REM of the last 5 albums for me has been "I'll Take The Rain"---and I wouldn't want to subject that song to anyone! :P

Okay, REM fans--what do you think? Is REM your "annoying little brother" who's cramping your style around your friends, or do you play them loud and proud!? Do you crank your car stereo at stoplights with the windows down and say to yourself "yeah, that's right assholes---green grow the rushes!" ^_^  Or are you heading for the volume button....?

#2 bluemookie

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:01 AM

I'm in the early stages of a new R.E.M. tribute band, so I'm looking forward to people paying to hear me play R.E.M.!  That being said, when they broke up, I posted something about it on Facebook as my status, and some people commented on it saying, "Didn't they break up years ago" and "Didn't they have a couple hits in the 80's?".  Stuff like that.  Elliott Smith, on the other hand, does produce a lot of groans when I want to play his stuff, because it's so depressing and suicidal.

#3 stipeeyes

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:08 AM

I don't know who Clive is.  :)

Why would I say that my favorite band is annoying or embarrassing?  Of course not.  I'm proud of R.E.M.  If one of my friends doesn't like them, oh well.

To me since I've always been a Phil Collins fan comparing an R.E.M. song to one of his is a compliment. It's also kind of funny to me because I don't consider R.E.M. a pop band but Michael does.  The songs that were compared to his stuff is Electron Blue and Leaving New York.  I've Been High is mostly Michael's voice so it couldn't be compared to one of Collins'. I've also seen comments on line where apparently people think Michael's sounds like Phil's voice.  They do not hear well.  They do not sound alike.  Michael has a better voice.   Reveal sounds more like a  self made album than one that was made in a studio.  Collins used drum machines in 1981 before most popular artists used them.  So I think that's why jounalists were comparing songs on Reveal to his music.
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#4 twistedkite

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:24 AM

Oh--I guess I'm assuming I'm more "famous" than I am [complete sarcasm]. Clive and I are doing the 40 song REM cover project under my bandname Owenshire (search the tag)--songs I've been posting every two weeks or so. We are both two devoted and hardcore REM fans. I will post our cover of Title very soon--we've come to an agreement on an important guitar part!

#5 twistedkite

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 06:27 AM

 bluemookie, on 27 March 2012 - 06:01 AM, said:

I'm in the early stages of a new R.E.M. tribute band, so I'm looking forward to people paying to hear me play R.E.M.!  That being said, when they broke up, I posted something about it on Facebook as my status, and some people commented on it saying, "Didn't they break up years ago" and "Didn't they have a couple hits in the 80's?".  Stuff like that.  Elliott Smith, on the other hand, does produce a lot of groans when I want to play his stuff, because it's so depressing and suicidal.

Good for you! I think it goes without saying that REM's music sounds much more "rawky" live---Hell, most of those songs from Around the Sun actually sound GOOD live! :P  That's not to say that REM isn't magical in the studio--the truth is I prefer their studio stuff from the 80s and their live stuff for most of the later material. Up songs work well live, too.

But to me, this isn't just a question about slow depressing songs--it's a question about BLAND slow depressing songs...

#6 fanfan

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:13 AM

I'm a proud R.E.M. fan and even though I don't normally talk about my fandom with strangers my friends all know about it. :)
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#7 ebowtheloser

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:42 AM

In answer to the title of the thread: No.

Reading your posts, it seems that it might be possible that you live in an alternate universe where people are taunted by bullies chanting the lyrics to "Stand" at them! :)  I mean really? That really happened? It sounds more like your town's issue than the bands. I would definitely consider moving. Far.

I just heard "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" the other day, and I'm sorry... but it sounds ridiculous. I mean why is he screaming like that? Jesus... it's almost a parody. (Honestly, about a third of the Nirvana songs that seemed so cool to me at the time now sound grating too. I know you're not supposed to say that but it's true.)

The songs you guys have been recording are beautiful, and you are doing amazing work with them. Just keep on keeping on. Remember, it is not the job of the artist to figure out what the knuckleheads in the adjacent cubicles want to hear.

As for REM, the people they reached were moved profoundly, changed forever in some cases, and always for the better. If their music isn't for everybody, that's more than fine. The world still came out way ahead for having had REM in it.

#8 High_Speed_Train

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 08:53 AM

R.E.M. are my favourite band although I can understand that other people don't like them (the world is big enough for everyone!)

Most of the people with whom I discuss R.E.M. idenfity the band with something from the past (Out of Time, Automatic for the People) and say they no longer listen to them. (Needless to say they have no memory or notion of any I.R.S. song / album).

There was a brief period after they disbanded when I felt deeply disillusioned and said I didn't want to know anything about the band, but everything's O.K. now.
"But now you're here and it's different, how the light shines in your eyes, and every second a century, it's then that I realized, the world as we know it, a high speed train, we'll pick it up and start again"

#9 Driver Nate

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 09:25 AM

No, R.E.M. doesn't embarrass me but I have found that if someone finds out who your favorite band or artist is they like to use that as a way to anger you by putting them down. I've had that happen in person as well as online. The truth of the matter is, that says more about that person's maturity level (or in this case, immaturity level) than anything else. It's also why I tend not to name my favorite artists on other boards because that ends up making that particular band or artist a target in the event that someone wants to attempt to rile me up. However, if I'm enthusiastic about a given artist whether it be R.E.M., Drive-By Truckers, Mount Moriah or whoever, that is hard to conceal and I really shouldn't feel the need to but if you go on a Led Zeppelin board for instance and say that your favorite band is R.E.M. they will wonder why you're a member of that board. People don't seem to understand that I can go on a board devoted to another artist without that particular artist being my favorite. It doesn't make me any less of a fan of that band. On the upside, the more understanding people might take a liking to one of the artists you like and before you know it they're into them as well. Thus, is the downside of boards devoted to one particular band. If you're into another band some people perceive that as a threat somehow and treat you as a heretic when the truth of the matter is, I like a lot of different bands, which is why I frequent several different boards.
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#10 frotus

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 10:05 AM

I knew about R.E.M. but didn't really pay attention to them until Document was released.  Even then, fans of the first four albums were already complaining that "The One I Love"  was middle-of-the-road, sell-out garbage and the release of "Stand" and "Pop Song '89" a few years later pushed them over the edge.  They were done.  Years later I played one of these "first four" fans a copy of New Adventures In Hi-Fi in my car and I was delighted to hear him say, "Who's this? I could really get into this."  When I revealed who it was he seemed disappointed.   I realized his particular problem with R.E.M. was less about their music and more about what their longevity meant to him.  While I think it's wonderful that my favorite band followed me through my teens and disbanded the week I turned 40, I think my "first-four" friend would somehow find this offensive. Perhaps I'm digging too deep.

#11 beatadrum

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 11:19 AM

There is I believe a limit to what most people can tolerate of a band. Often it's linked to what that person's exposure was in the first place. Age is also a factor. I got into REM aged 13 I think, and they were the first band I was truly *into*. I started out with OTT and AFTP, then the Best Of and Green, then worked my way back. By the time Monster was out I had read It Crawled From The South at least twice and was buying bootlegs. The die had been cast. I had other friends also into REM but they had other 'favourite' bands and followed them with the level of dedication I gave to REM.With each passing album they lost interest, either through lack of exposure or frustration with a (positive) development in the sound.

Does being a superuper REM fan embarrass me? A wee bit I suppose. The REM I grew to love wasn't really the one the mainstream did. Therefore the music I would choose to listen to by them is not necessarily the most socially acceptable elements of their career. It's not at its most effective when used as aural wallpaper, and that's what a lot of people want from music - something that doesn't challenge them. But to others REM is not challenging enough, and they're perhaps the ones that lost patience as the 90s wore on. And beyond that, AFTP to Monster was a fairly outrageous U-turn for the people unfamiliar with pre OOT material.

Ultimately, and really the point I alluded to at the start, was that there is a limit to what some people can take of certain bands. There comes a point where the listener wants nothing new. I went through a Neil Young phase and bought everything up to Chrome Dreams II, which for me was getting into the territory of saturation point.I have bought nothing that could be classed as 'new' since and have little interest in doing so either. For a lot of the mainstream, saturation point came with AFTP. A lot of people just had no interest in REM beyond it and OOT, largely because of Monster and fairly insipid singles thereafter. Therefore for a lot of people, REM really ended 20 years ago, so unless that person was there then, and the song you were playing was from then, it would be dismissed as passe by the kids, nostalgia (if they knew it) or 'not that hit I liked' if they didn't.

I think that the postscript for REM's entire career, for me anyway, would be:

'Out of Time'.

The irony is that is took an album of that name to make them fit in with the mainstream, if only briefly.

#12 Kelly A

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 11:53 AM

I've liked Devo since they first came out, which was a very minority opinion back in the '80s (and may still be).  If I'm not embarrassed by that, I certainly won't be embarassed by R.E.M.

Music/radio/etc at work is a special case though. Sometimes I think silence or earphones is best because you will nearly always get a complaint from someone.

#13 Driver Nate

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 12:48 PM

 beatadrum, on 27 March 2012 - 11:19 AM, said:

Does being a superuper REM fan embarrass me? A wee bit I suppose. The REM I grew to love wasn't really the one the mainstream did.

Out of Time is the album where most of my friends that knew I was an R.E.M. fan finally sat up and took notice because of the saturation "Losing My Religion" received on the airwaves. While that album (and single) certainly had touchstones to all that I knew and loved about R.E.M. it wasn't the same musically as Chronic Town, Murmur, Reckoning, Fables of the Reconstruction, etc. In other words, the records I had played endlessly at parties and gatherings in the past. It was if they didn't register on certain people's radars until they got the widespread airplay that came with such a massive hit as "Losing My Religion". By the time Out of Time came out some of my friends were saying they didn't understand what all the fuss was about because now that they were finally paying attention, they didn't hear in Out of Time what I had heard in those other records. At least that is my take on why they seem nonplussed by that album. Meanwhile, those of us that had been listening and attending their shows for many years prior to the release of Out of Time had a completely different take on that album. Not a negative one per se but different.
"We were listening to the UNC radio (station) there and they were playing an R.E.M. song. I like R.E.M. fine, but at the end of it, the DJ says, 'Ya that was R.E.M., the sound of the new South'. I looked at my roommate and we said, Gawd, if that's the sound of the new South, I preferred it when it was on the skids. That's how we got the name."
- Rick Miller of Southern Culture on the Skids

#14 sashwap

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 07:32 PM

i'm ALWAYS embarrassed listening to music i've selected with a group of people who aren't close friends. i think it's natural to suddenly be hypercritical and focus on parts of the song that might be perceived as weird, unappealing, bad, or whatever. that said, those potentially embarrassing elements are usually centered around the vocals -- lyrics, singing quality, the sound of the voice, etc.

so, for me, most IRS years r.e.m. works great in mixed company -- the vocals are mixed low, the lyrics largely unintelligible, and it works well as background music. it's unobtrusive. it's upbeat but not aggressive, which is an important combination to be pleasant for most people (in my experience).

my thoughts on this matter are probably heavily informed by the way mom reacted to my music when i was a kid. she couldn't stand the harsher, noisier stuff, so if we were on a car trip or something, i'd always select things that i knew were palatable to her. if a band had loud, crunchy guitars, dissonance, gruff/shrill/nasal/screamy vocals, and lyrics full of swears, it wouldn't pass the mom test. r.e.m. is largely free of these elements, making r.e.m. a pretty "safe" band in many situations. even around the sun would be OK in an office setting, i imagine (although certain parts would make me cringe).

so that addresses the music itself. as for the cool factor, that depends on the people. most music geeks i know respect, if not love, r.e.m. -- especially the early records, but even up through to NAiHF and up (i've never had a real life conversation with anyone about an r.e.m. album post-reveal that isn't "oh, r.e.m. still exists?"). but anyway, amongst geeks, r.e.m. is almost always welcomed.

for people with more ambivalent, mainstream tastes (i.e. practically everybody) r.e.m. is either known solely for their more ubiquitous hit singles, or completely unknown. chances are your co-workers are not paying close attention to anything that they aren't already familiar with. thus an r.e.m. album is at worst boring, but probably not cause for embarrassment. and they might even hear something they like.
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#15 Reverend Bill Funderburk

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 08:12 PM

Not at all.
R.E.M. Shows Attended:

The Pyramid, Memphis, TN, 11.7.95
Red Rocks Ampitheater, Morrison, CO, 9.13.03
UNO Lakefront Arena, New Orleans, LA, 9.23.03
City Park, New Orleans, LA, 10.26.08

#16 beanicboy

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Posted 27 March 2012 - 11:51 PM

I think there are those R.E.M. songs that sound really dated when you listen to them, and I can see how people might not get into it if they are exposed to certain songs all these years later. For example, to me "Green" just sounds like 1989. Then there are those songs that I don't think were ever "cool", but some of us liked them anyway. Songs that actually embarrass me - "Shiny Happy People", and "Ignorland" aren't songs I'd feel comfortable loudly jamming to sitting in traffic at a stop light with my elbow hanging out the window. Honorable mention- "The Chorus and the Ring" + the live version of Country Feedback with the intro from "The Chorus and the Ring" make me cringe. "Blue" should have been an epic song, but Stipe rushed through it with talking, then Patti singing something about "Cinderella boy, you've lost your shoe". Eh... sorry. Not what I wanted from the final song on the final R.E.M. album. I wouldn't play those tracks to anyone.

On a more postive note, I can honestly say that I have turned more than a few people on to R.E.M. over the years with the album Monster. They always say "oh, that band that does the 'me in the corner' song?" or something along those lines, and they are suprised by what they are hearing. that album to me has always been really F-ing cool. Way underrated and one of my favorites. New Adventures was pretty up there on the cool scale as well IMHO.

I think R.E.M. is a pretty fair mix of everything we want as fans and what the public wants to hear. You just need to pick what music they've created that will match up best with your audience. They've made such an amazing varying array of sounds over the years that there's got to be something they've done that strikes a chord with whomever you're presenting to. Embarrassing, no, not if you pick the right material.

#17 twistedkite

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Posted 28 March 2012 - 06:06 AM

Wow--thanks for the discussion! Anyway, look, some of you seem almost downright hostile/bewildered at the thought that REM could be considered somewhat embarrassing (which I think is a bit unobjective). I mean, I love REM--don't doubt my fandom, but that doesn't mean I can't be critical of songs, choices, or the general trajectory of their career. I'll give you an analogy--I have 2 kids, and I am a VERY devoted and loving Dad, BUT, yes, there are times when company is around that my kids (ages 5 and 3) act a little too silly (anyone with kids knows what I mean)--there's a fine-line between goofy-cute and goofy-annoying/embarrassing.

I guess majority rules--most of you gave a resounding "No!" which is fine, but I will admit that every time I tell my college classes that REM is my favourite band I have to add the following: "I know that REM may be Dad rock to most of you; however, back in the day they were the epitome of indie-college rock cool, not unlike the [names current hip outsider indie band]." Then again, I've heard Pearl Jam called "dad-rock" too, so it seems I can't win.

And as for ebowtheloser's opinion of SP and Nirvana--again, I can understand how some of these songs are ridiculous if you're "not in the moment"--kind of how every love song on the radio sounds full of shit if you're not in love (but if you are, then it all makes sense!)--they can seem annoying and almost childish. That said, I was a pretty depressed high school/university student and Trent Reznor really spoke to me, and yet I don't listen to early NIN anymore because (frankly) I'm just not that depressed/angry--obviously my life has changed and I've matured...just like Reznor! He's married with a kid and doing soundtracks, and recently he has said he wants to move NIN in a direction that reflects his life now (I can't wait!--hopefully he can stop talking about wanting to "disappear"--he's used that line so many times like the way Stipe uses the words "on your sleeve")

It's funny because many people can't reconcile my deep love of 90s alt bands with my love of REM since they are so different musically; but what I find funny/reassuring is that REM and/or Stipe are all friends with these other bands/artists with the exception of Reznor. It was so hilarious when Kurt Cobain (my idol through high school) said how much he loved REM (my then and always favourite band!)

But I'm off topic. The response have all been great in quality and analysis--this is what we do--we love REM and dissect them endlessly because we care about the music. BTW I proudly wear my REM shirts... I have no issue being publicly branded. :)

#18 wrong child- jr.

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Posted 28 March 2012 - 08:58 AM

I am not embarrassed about my REM obsession. Most first dates, I spill the beans.

If you consider the bigger picture, you'll see that REM's worst albums are better than most band's best album. If was in a situation like TwistedKite is, I would consider myself to be educating the masses as I played their entire catalogue.

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#19 stipeeyes

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Posted 28 March 2012 - 09:20 AM

I like what you said wrong child.

Quote

I mean, I love REM--don't doubt my fandom, but that doesn't mean I can't be critical of songs, choices, or the general trajectory of their career. I'll give you an analogy--I have 2 kids, and I am a VERY devoted and loving Dad, BUT, yes, there are times when company is around that my kids (ages 5 and 3) act a little too silly (anyone with kids knows what I mean)--there's a fine-line between goofy-cute and goofy-annoying/embarrassing.

Critical of their songs is much different than being embarrassed. Now if say Star Me Kitten or Binky the Doormat accidently was playing in front of the wrong people such as my late Grandmother than maybe I would be embarrassed  because of the subject matter in those songs. I could never feel that way about the band themselves.
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#20 GreeneGrowTheRushes

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Posted 28 March 2012 - 09:22 AM

I don't know if embarrassed is the word I'd use to describe how I feel when an R.E.M. song comes on. Like you, I'm known for being R.E.M. obsessed, so I think when a song does come on in public and I'm around friends, I feel like it's me being judged. So I feel a bit exposed rather than embarrassed!





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